My black and grey party dress hangs effortlessly off me as I type these words. As though the garb I wear means nothing at all. My hair is curled in tight ringlets and it bounces as I happily move to and fro. The makeup that was applied to my eyelids hours ago has begun to smear giving me a weathered look. But for once I truly do not care.
Alanis Morsette is playing on the TV and I cannot recall the last time I felt so alive. So real.
The night started out as a Dress Club night. An evening when an invited group of women would get together to exchange gossip, drinks and shared moments. From the very get go I was hesitant to accept it as a monthly exchange. There were too many variables, too many ‘what ifs?’ Half the ladies in it were only acquaintances and the other half were my life long friends who I was too close with to imagine letting anyone else in on our little circle. The entire idea of the ‘dress club’ was weird and too unaccustomed.
But instead of following my natural instinct to flee the situation I gave in and accepted it. And I found myself smack dab in the middle of plethora of diversity. And now I realize I’ve gained something that is inexplicable.
Instead of gossiping about the ‘you-know-who’s’ we talked politics. Rather than bitching about our husbands or boyfriends we wooed over the wonders of womanhood. We brainstormed in the awesomeness of our infinite power and what good we could essentially do for this world and we actually came up with some pretty great stuff.
Half way through the night I felt empowered. By the end of the night I was invested.
I was invested in this group of human beings who somehow made me feel so unbelievably alive- in a way I hadn’t felt before.
There is something to be said about the power of unity. The influence of harmony working together to achieve like goals and goodness in general.
There has been many moments in my life where I have walked away from gatherings feeling drained. I have felt the assembly has stolen all the goodness from me and replaced it with malice and ill will.
And it makes me wonder why we continue to engage in such nonsense day after day, gathering after gathering.
I feel this incredible lightness gained from tonight and it only makes me crave more. I feel empowered in a way I haven’t for a very long time. The music that flows in the background drifts through me with an intention I’ve never really noticed before.
For so many years I was withdrawn- never allowing anyone to get too close to my specific assemblage. I was too afraid to change my ways. I was too afraid to open myself up to new opportunities.
However I was wrong.
We are so much more when we can come together, especially when it is in a positive way. We were meant to socialize and converse and trade ideas and notions. We were meant to dabble in controversy. We have always been better when united.
My black and grey party dress hung effortlessly off me as I spent time with my newfound friends. And I realized hours later that I had not thought once about how it looked the entire time I was with them.
It was then that I knew that they were keepers.