Naked In the Bathroom Mirror
Recently a girl said to me in a frenzy,
“Do not post those pics on Facebook
I’ve got a muffin top in them.”
I gave her one of these, “Pftt”
And proceeded to ask why she cared.
Now this did not fare well for me
As she looked me up and down, scowled and replied,
“As if you don’t care.”
And maybe once I would have.
Once I would have hated the naked body
That stared back at me from the bathroom mirror.
Maybe I would have resided right alongside this girl
Scrolling fanatically through I-phone photos
Choosing just the right angle so the Facebook and Instagram ogler couldn’t detect
Those double chocolate coco cookies I consumed only minutes before.
Maybe at one time when I gazed upon a picture of myself
All I would see was a double chin, cellulite skin, and a chipped toothed grin.
Maybe I once fixated on being thinner.
I could be trimmer, slimmer, and all around fitter.
Maybe I would fear there would always be a better…
Maybe back then
When I looked at this heinous version of myself
I would have obsessed on how to deliver
A prettier body in my bathroom mirror.
Maybe I stewed over how to wither away those last 30, 20, 10
God forsaken pounds
Because I somehow thought that misplacing that fat
Was the key to my everlasting happiness.
Maybe I needed filters and Photoshop
To perceive my self-worth.
Maybe that legendary number on that proverbial scale
Produced this gale force wind blowing in-
Insecurity and self-doubt.
Or maybe- I was just not supposed to love myself.
I don’t know when it changed
Or why or how or for what cause.
It didn’t seem like something to keep track of I guess.
What I do know is that when I stand
Naked in front of my bathroom mirror-
I fear nothing anymore.
I embrace the pot belly I once scathed
I can eat like a goddamn queen on any given day.
I no longer see the imperfections.
No, they are whitewashed by a chipped toothed grin
While I laugh freely and dance uninhibitedly.
I’ve trashed the scale that once made me feel so damn sickly.
And I will continue to preach loudly about beauty.
All that I know for certain I now am.
And all of that uncertainty beforehand
Now just seems so damn silly.
I feel lighter as the blinders have been removed
And I can unequivocally love
This naked body that stands before me
In my bathroom mirror.