Well my friends the title of this post says it all.
There are three types of parents frantically running around Walmart right now. I’m serious right now, as we speak.
These individuals are as stated:
A) The veteran parents who have already been through the kindergarten first day of school bit.
The parents who are excited for this upcoming school year.
The parents who are happily void of any sentimentality whatsoever.
These are the people who are scooting from the school supply aisle to the kids shoe department with a demented smile plastered upon their face in anticipation for the upcoming year.
They know the joys of child free days and they are not afraid to show you their delight.
They are the parents who understand that full school days equal insane amounts of productivity.
Full school days mean clean homes…Well, cleaner homes for longer periods of time!
Or possibly even a peaceful coffee date with friends.
And of course we cannot forget the most important reason to get excited for the children’s leave to school…
The prospect to engage in the elusive mid-day quickie.
2) Unfortunately we can’t all be blissfully contented with the idea of our babes venturing into the new and quite frankly frightening world of school.
The second group of Walmart patrons I speak of do not have the excited bounce in their step as the first group did.
No these folk are the sentimental bastards.
The thought of their little Jimmy/Joni going off and growing up is literally tearing them apart inside. They mope their way towards the snack aisle to find some peanut free fare with a dejected look strewn heavily across their face.
They know is it ridiculous to be getting so emotional over something they knew was coming for the last five years…But it is just so hard to pull it together.
Because the first day of school means one thing…Those sweet little muffins that they once swaddled into those perfectly delectable baby bundles are growing up…
Into gross, smelly, sticky (and not sticky in the adorable child way), back-talking teenagers.
And it is infuriating and terrifying all at the same time.
There is nothing we can do to save this second group.
We can only stand idly by as they struggle through their torture alone.
C) Finally the last group. These are the people who are not so cut and dry as the previous two groups.
They are the conflicted.
They peruse the department store aimlessly with an inner turmoil that eats slowly away at them.
Always moving. Always changing.
Of course on the one hand they can completely see group A’s point of view. There are definite perks to all day absences of the little humans.
But…On the flip side, they can understand group 2’s dilemma as well.
Those tiny walking, talking, rocking humanoids are the fruit of their loins!
And sometimes it is hard to accept they are growing up.
Because nothing good can come from them growing up, right?
Whatever the case the battle within group C whirls as they double check the school supply list that is grasped tightly in their left hand.
At one point a single tear rolls down the cheek of a father passing by a rack of infant jumpers…
At another a woman in the produce section shouts out in a burst of unbridled joy, “Yes I am free on Monday Morning! ITS SEPTEMBER HALLELUJAH PRAISE THE LORD!”
And so you see, it is a crazy time at the local one stop shop. There are those who are happy, sad, conflicted and yes also very confused.
What a thought provoking time to be an observer of the human condition.
Nope…No moral to this post.