Here’s to the tears that roll down her wasted face
To those droplets of fear and pain and life and loss
That release into a torrent stream of uncertainty.
Here’s to the notes of self-doubt
When a “more important” voice interrupts hers.
To cries of insecurity,
For all the times she’s been called too skinny or too fat
Here’s to whispers of diffidence
From when she discovered that criticism was a real thing.
To every god damn teacher who told her
It wasn’t realistic to follow her dreams.
To every freaky dude in dim light hiding in a club corner-
Grabbing her ass while telling her she’s only ‘kind of’ pretty
To the boyfriends; the not-yet-men
Who once said she could never do better than them.
To the rumor creators- the truth takers
The breakers of promises and trust
Here’s to it all!
To the moments of wonder,
To the moments of what if.
To the difference between
Comfort and bliss.
Here’s to the pipedreams
Those shapeless ideas
Which floated gently into her psyche
Later realizing…They were insanely unlikely.
To being called flighty!
Here’s to every individual who has made her feel
Uncomfortably. Subtly depriving her
Of that usual bubbly redundancy.
To everyone who has fucked her up
To those who have destructively sucked her dry
To all the moments that have gone awry
Cheers to the fall.
Cheers to crawling dejectedly out from the hole she fell into
Cheers to tears of embarrassment and fear
Cheers to the sadness…That somehow brought her here
Because objectively- she now sees, she is where she needs to be.
And she is here because of those dicks in dim lit bars
The scars from rude remarks
The determination from being told NO
The ridiculous saying ‘bro’s before hoes’
She is here thanks to the sideways glances
And most of all the nervous laughter, she began to hear
When deciding their opinions- Didn’t. Fucking. Matter.
And all too soon the old vision shattered
And then it happened-
Happy, Free, Welcome, Pleased
She arrived here
And I cannot think of anything greater to deserve