A few things no one told me about being a parent


1)      How the first cries after birth would be the most relieving sound in the world.

2)      The extreme vexation I would feel when some brazen asshole would tell me my newborn’s smiles were in fact just gas.

3)      How I would become one of those fanatic breastfeeding mothers, and miss it immensely once stopping.

4)      The boundless displeasure I would feel when an individual would not comment on how adorable, cute, perfect, or sweet my baby was.

5)      How indefinably hilarious it could be to be puked on from above.

6)      That feeding a baby solid foods for the first time would be a nerve-racking yet exciting exploit.

7)      How the novelty of feeding a baby solid foods soon wears off.

8)      How listening to the first giggles of my children would be the sweetest sound I would ever hear.

9)      That having kids could make me entirely fearless and desperately fearful at the exact same time.

10)   How finger painting is actually a very enjoyable pastime.

11)   How I would learn home remedies on how to get almost anything out of a carpet.

12)   How the first time I saw my child take his first steps I would think, I could never be prouder.

13)   That each time I saw a milestone reached I would think I could never be prouder.

14)    Always, always being prouder with each momentous occasion, big or small.

15)    That I would not cry on the first day of school, but marvel in the idea of novel beginnings and bright new futures.

16)   How finding places for all of the artwork would be one of my greatest tasks in their young lives.

17)    Feeling the overwhelming angst to punch out a five year old when learning of his bullying towards my child.

18)   Coming to the realization that I cannot punch a five year old.

19)   Learning just how far positive verbal communication can go, and how much I would use it in my parenting career.

20)   The aggravation I would feel when an older kid would try to boss around my daughter.

21)   The relief I would soon after feel when she ignored him and went on her merry way without batting an eyelash.

22)   The awesome respect for my own parents that would hit me like a ton of bricks once beginning in on this child-rearing journey.

23) How I would look forward to play-dates more than the children would. 

24) How watching them grow and mature and become their own little people with their own unique personalities would be the most rewarding thing I will ever do.  


And one more thing I was never told about before blindly running into this thing called parenthood, was how much I would mature with them. 

And how much I would come to love the person they have helped me grow into. 



2 thoughts on “A few things no one told me about being a parent

  1. I did not plan on being a parent, but 9 months and 25 days I was a father and she was born on Father’s Day. That changed my life forever. You observations are right on. I loved to watch our babies get their first taste of a new food.


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