Today is Friday, my area of towns garbage day. Again the residents of my lovely town of Sylvan Lake were burdened with the undertaking of placing their garbage in the front of their house for pick up. A few months ago a public notice was issued to begin unloading our trash bags for pick-up in the front street rather than the back alleys due to the extreme snowfall which made it difficult for the garbage trucks to traverse through. I am an understanding person, I could totally get down with it at the time.
“No prob, town council, I feel ya!” I said to myself in the van as I drove while reading the large flashing electric sign they had put up at the entrance of town to advise us Sylvan Lakiens of this new pick-up plan.
But now, as the snow melts and the dirt roads of our back alleys dry, I am becoming increasingly concerned as to why the town has not changed it back to our original strategy of alley way pick-up. I am suitably concerned that it will never go back to the way it was…And that, my friends exasperates me greatly.
So in a completely vain attempt to remedy my anxieties about this issue I present to you a list on why Sylvan Lake should resume garbage pick-up in the back alleys.
1) Our streets are beginning to look like the slums. Here is some photographic evidence of this such state.
2) My neighbor told me a lovely story of how this morning as the garbage men picked up her garbage and began to compact it in the truck on the road in front of her home the bag in which her son had placed an enormous bag of snow stewed dog shit burst. A torrent of runny dog shit spewed all over the street in front of her beautifully manicured home and almost hit the garbage man in question! Her poor husband had to go and hose the street off, because let’s face it- NOBODY wants a stinking pile of poop hanging out in front of their house.
3) The garbage bags on my deck are beginning to pile up…For some reason I continuously forget to put the garbage out since the front pick-up has commenced. I call it the ‘Curse of the Frontal Pickup Location’. And it taunts me weekly…
4) I continue to get blocked in the morning hours while trying to exit my street by beasts of garbage trucks that don’t know how to stay on their side of the road, and have this crazy habit of stopping at like every single house on the street!
5) And finally my back alley is jonesing for some garbage truck action.
Well, I hope this list assists in some small way to the return of back alley garbage pickup.
Thank you and good day.