A declaration of love: In regards to Facebook declarations of love

A few weeks ago I came across something on Facebook. It was an odd something, and I shook my head a bit when I saw it, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on what about it bothered me.

It was a Meme that said something along the lines of, ‘A relationship that is constantly bragged about on Facebook, probably isn’t a good relationship.’ I know it wasn’t those exact words, but I’ve been searching Google images like crazy and I can’t find the exact quote anywhere.

Maybe, that’s because the creator of this Meme realized it’s total bullshit and took it down- saving innocent lovers from the heartbreak of thinking they’re assholes for proclaiming their love on this SOCIAL MEDIA NETWORK.

Case in point:

Facebook is a social media outlet, therefore be prepared for social media. Such as people exclaiming how much they love their significant others.

Maybe I feel so strongly about this topic because I am as guilty as the next love sick bored housewife for indulging in it readily.

“Oh Jamie did this (insert awesome thing here) today…BEST HUBBY EVER”

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“Oh Jamie you are the best dad to our kids!”

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“I love you my shnoogie, woogie”

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Not to mention the tens of blog posts I’ve wrote about the man.

And I can assure you, my husband and I have a healthy happy relationship. Yes we argue, and get mad about stupid petty things, but these are obviously not the times I am posting these declarations of love to the man for all to see.

That would be a little crazy right?!

So my response to the people who think Facebook testimonies of love are stupid and idiotic, I can assure you there are many more dumb ass things one could do to declare their love for someone.

For example,

I want to shout it from the rooftop…

 

Oh dear God...
Oh dear God…
This is much higher than I anticipated
This is much higher than I anticipated
This is as good as it's getting...I LOVE YOU JAMES ALEXANDER JEFFERSON BROWN!
This is as good as it’s getting…I LOVE YOU JAMES ALEXANDER JEFFERSON BROWN!
how the fuck am I going to get down from here now?
how the fuck am I going to get down from here now?

I will serenade you with my sweet voiced love music…

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Ohhh I love you, and other stuff too... Damn it's hard to write a love song.
Ohhh I love you, and other stuff too…
Damn it’s hard to write a love song.

 

I may not have a ghetto-blaster but I have an I-Phone…Sounds way better anyways

I am so 80's...And that just equals awesome.
I am so 80’s…And that just equals awesome.

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I will walk 500 miles…

I'm going to be straight with you here...I probably will walk the first mile and hitch a ride the rest of the way.
I’m going to be straight with you here…I probably will walk the first mile and hitch a ride the rest of the way.

 

 

I want to take you on a magic carpet ride…

How do you turn this thing on?
How do you turn this thing on?
Oh, there it goes...
Oh, there it goes…
Aladdin makes this seem way more romantic than it is.
Aladdin makes this seem way more romantic than it is.

 

 

You are the apple of my eye…

Does anyone even understand this reference anymore?
Does anyone even understand this reference anymore?

I would die for you…

Nobody, let me repeat, NOBODY wants to hear this from their significant other.
Nobody, let me repeat, NOBODY wants to hear this from their significant other.

I just want to hold you forever…

Let's cut the bullshit. Someone is going to get sick of the holding eventually and do you really want to be left being the asshole that's gripping on tight?
Let’s cut the bullshit. Someone is going to get sick of the holding eventually and do you really want to be left being the asshole that’s still gripping on tight?

I just want to freeze time, when I’m with you…

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Can you say, creeeepy....
Can you say, creeeepy….

 

I would fight off a pack of wild dogs to protect you…

Back you beast! Back I say!
Back you beast! Back I say!

I will grow and nurture a love fern with you…

Ohhh, why thank you...?
Ohhh, why thank you…?

 

So you see my friends, next time you find yourself annoyed or perturbed by the incessant relationship braggarts, like myself, on your favorite popular social media site- Just remember, there are worse (and in many cases highly dangerous) ways to proclaim ones love.

 

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