Yesterday I partook in a photo shoot.
It was not of the hilarious type that I usually indulge in. There were no characters to veil my insecurities or shtick to hide behind.
It was simply me.
Before leaving my house my nerves were raging. I showered and primped as much as I possibly could but as I stared at my naked self in the bathroom mirror I couldn’t help but pick out every flaw and blemish that riddled my body.
Upon arriving at the photographers my anxiety about this Boudoir shoot had become so bad that I was ready to run back down the driveway and away forever.
For as long as I can remember there has always been an uncertainty that burdens my mind when it comes to my body. But this is typical with most women in this day and age, right?
The shoot started out a little rough only because of my impending doubt that in any way shape or form would I be able to pull this off.
Jen has been a friend and my photographer for several years now. She has done a phenomenal job of capturing the beauty of my family and the hilarity of my beloved character Helen The Housewife here on The Blogging Mama. But never did I think I would partake in a photo shoot with her such as this one: as I lay half naked in her basement studio, I didn’t believe I had it in me.
But she was amazing- allowing me to feel open to the experience, and more importantly showcasing something that I had never seen before in myself.
I feel beautiful, in a way that was lost long ago in a throng of ideas of what I should look like.
But now I’ve realized that I am happy, I am healthy
And I will relish my body, instead of vanquishing it.
This new kind of body image, this positive kind- allows me to appreciate my strengths as a woman.
It empowers me and reveals this confidence I didn’t know I had.
Today I am overcome with joy.
No longer will I allow a number on the scale or a model in a magazine to define my worth as a woman.
I will continue on living a healthy lifestyle but even more so now, as my psyche will not be laden with thoughts of ‘fat’ and ‘not good enough’.
Today I thank Imagine The Image Photography for helping me take an immense step forward in overcoming my body image issues. And I thank myself for taking the time to understand the importance of perspective on what we call body image.
If beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder…At 28 years old, I have found my splendor.
And my hope is that every person reading this, has found theirs too.