The 18 Stages of Waiting For Baby

There comes a point in every persons existence when a loved one becomes pregnant. Whether it be a sister, an in-law, a daughter or a close friend, it will happen and when it does, I want you to be ready!

You may not think it effects you directly, you may just think you are some innocent bystander waiting to meet the little bundle of joy…If in fact, you do think this is how you will react, you are direly wrong!

How do I know this, you ask?

9 months ago my sister in law Ashley told me she was pregnant. How excited I was to learn my little bro and one of my best friends would be having a baby together! At that time though, the arrival of the little nugget seemed so far away I couldn’t have imagined the feelings that now reel within me.

Currently our dear Ashley is 5 days overdue, and although I realize she is probably in great discomfort at this time, I would like to talk about how I am feeling.

Because I am extremely self centered like that.

So I have compiled a list of sorts, of the feelings in which stream through one when, Waiting for Baby.

1. Let’s start with the obvious…The staring at the phone bit. The fact that you are telepathically attempting to get that telephone to ring and have on the other end the Mama-to-be telling you it is time!

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2. Practicing your expression (even though you are currently alone)for when you get the call.

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3. Deciding it is safe to have a glass of wine…Just one though.

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4. Filling the void of your impending optimistic loitering by stuffing your face with goodies.

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5. Stooping to the level of pleading with your most sacred entity to bring this baby to us tonight.

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6. Attempting to bribe the unborn child to make his appearance in return for sweets aplenty.

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7. Asking your own children when they think baby will be born…Because you know, kids have that weird sixth sense right?!

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"Mom! The baby will come when he comes...You have GOT to slow your roll here!"
“Mom! The baby will come when the baby comes…You have GOT to slow your roll here!”

8. Deciding it is okay to indulge in a little more wine…

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9. Realizing that if you do get the call, you cannot go to the hospital smelling of a winery.

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10. Quickly discovering a solution, that involves not having to quit drinking wine.

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11. Thinking that you may just be able to serenade that baby out of Mother’s womb…And inviting a carolling mouse to join you in your quest.

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12. Getting into a deep and meaningful convo with Mouse, about the wonders of birth.

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13. Deciding to brush up on your baby handling skills, as it has been awhile.

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14. Waiting some more, because you can’t think of anything else to occupy your time with.

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15. Putting it out there to the universe what day this kids birthday will be!

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16. Finding a drinking buddy to pass the time with.

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17. Getting way to overexcited when the phone does happen to ring…Every. Single. Time.

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18. And finally, when all else fails, just sit back and imagine how it will all go down when you do actually get that wondrous call!

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"I'm just so damn happy it's finally happening..."
“I’m just so damn happy it’s finally happening…”

So there it is my friends, just in case you find yourself in a similar situation as I have at this exact moment, at the very least now you have a guideline on how to channel the mass of feelings that are coursing through your mind.

And as for my brother Dustin and his beautiful girlfriend Ashley…I know you both will do great through this life changing experience. Here’s hoping this babe is coming ASAP!

P.S. I am literally thinking of you every minute of the day. Hope that doesn’t come off to creepy….

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