Handy Housewife Hint #004

We will be doing this weeks Housewife post early in honour of the day of the Lord.

And for all of you Albertans who are bummed out from all of this snow!

Hope you enjoy.

***Disclaimer- The opinions expressed here are those of Helen The Handy Housewife, and may or may not be shared by The Blogging Mama corporation. If you (the reader) live by ridiculously high moral standings and/or have little to no sense of humor, we would like to firstly express our deepest regret for you (the reader)  as well as convey that nothing written here is meant to belittle, humiliate or injure any such individual. If at any point when reading this following script, feelings of agitation and/or upheaval commence please feel free to exit the site by clicking the red X button located at the top right hand corner of your screen. The Blogging Mama will hold no responsibility for uptight persons who feel the need to be easily offended by this post script, as it is all meant to be read in good fun.

There are times in the housewife life, when the homemaker in question, may get a little despondent.

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Whether it be a dilemma in which she must use her powers of innovation to correct

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Her beauty regime is just not going how she had planned that morning.

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Or, some riff raff walks in on her ‘alone time’ in the lavatory.

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It is an unfortunate truth, but these situations do occasionally hammer down upon homemakers near and far. And the only way in which a superior housewife will overcome and conquer these hairy situations is through the grace of God.

 Today Helen would like to talk to you about the divine power of the Lord.

Handy Housewife Hint #004- A Handy Housewife will  forevermore go to great lengths to further her relationship with the Almighty.  

 When Helen is faced with a tough time, she will quickly turn to the Higher Power for answers, asking with great passion how to remedy her woes…

"God, give me the strength to deal with these horrible children!"
“God, give me the strength to deal with these horrible children!”

But often The Big Man upstairs decides that poor Helen must deal with this one on her own. This is when Helen offers sacrifice to the deity, hoping that this will warm his omnipotent hand.

"OH Almighty, take thy prime rib in offerings and in return smite those children whom disrespect their Mother!"
“OH Almighty, take thy prime rib in offerings and in return smite those children whom disrespect their Mother!”

Once Helens attempts have failed she quickly tries a different angle with Him…

"Come on Man, you know you want it..."
“Come on Man, you know you want it…”
"Seriously, what's that guys BEEF..."
“Seriously, what’s that guys BEEF…”
"Pun most definitely intended"
“Pun most definitely intended”

It is a sad and sorrow filled day when our housewife realizes that she may just have to Mother-up and deal with the young ones without the firm discipline of the Father, but in the end realizes that this is yet another one of His worthy tests.

And after liberating her agitation…

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Helen prepares for a good nights sleep and places positive thoughts towards a bright a optimistic tomorrow.

Prior to indulging in her before bed nightcap(s) to forget all of her heinous woes…

Helen always remembers to send a little prayer to her beloved.

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Because a heathen housewife, isn’t a handy housewife.

Photo Credit: Imagine The image Photography – Of which again has no affiliation with the viewpoint or opinions express in this Housewife post.

**And remember friends, The Handy Housewife will be returning every Wednesday to bring you more divine and revered ways to become the handy housewife you’ve always coveted being.

Helen The Housewife URGES you to Share The Blogging Mama Facebook page and/or This blog post with all of your non-reading Blogging Mama Friends…Or else she just may pray for some more smiting’s from the Big Guy.

Share The Mama, appease the Holy Spirit.

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