The housewife life; A treasure trove of exhilaration. It can be dashing, daring and oh so daunting. The trials and tribulations one must face in this intimidating vocation is enough to allow any woman to slip feverishly into the depths of immorality.
Handy Housewife Hint #003- A Handy Housewife will always portray the utmost of modesty in any given moment.
Today Helen the housewife will voice to you the importance of remaining modest in even the most menacing of times.
Because this, dear friends is the key to the continuation of a happy, handy and humble housewife.
And here, it begins…
This segment, Helen will stress to you the significance of the ‘horrified surprise stance’
This being the posture one takes if and when you are taken by shock and quickly thrust out of your comfort zone.
Do not, Repeat: DO NOT, try to attempt a sexual surprised look in any way shape or form…
It will come out all wrong, and possible lead you astray.
Reserve is the key.
Although your first notion may be to say…Drop the towel, you must hold on to that fortress with a deathlike grip.
This is literally the only thing sheltering you from total annihilation in the decorum department.
Hold on Helen, hold on!
Once mastering the ‘horrified surprise stance’ compose yourself and shoot the peeping Tom a look of pure loathing.
Let that bad man know who’s boss!
This will show that you and only YOU gives admission to your secret garden.
After the uncomfortable incident has been resolved, one must swiftly place the occurrence far from mind.
But how would one do that you ask?
And more wine.
And hell…Maybe a few uppers to finish the job.
It will be a long and unsettling road making your way back to everyday housewife life, but in the end it will have been worth it to handle your shit like a lady.
Because an indecent housewife, isn’t a handy housewife.
Photo Credit: Imagine The image Photography
Isn’t Helen our housewife great?! For more posts with The Handy Housewife click here and here also here if you would like to be propelled into the awe inspiring world of charisma, allure and housewifery!
Come on back next Wednesday for another crazy adventure with the one, the only…
HELEN THE HANDY HOUSEWIFE!
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