So I am madly indulging my cleaning regiment this morning, in an attempt to make my house presentable to some family that will be arriving in town shortly. It is about a thousand degrees outside, which makes my houses temperature I’m sure close to two thousand.
I have put on my loose fitting green strapless dress as it is what I can imagine to be the coolest article of clothing I currently have in my closet.
Once I have begun I do not stop for anything. I’ve removed the junk off the deck, placed about three loads of laundry on the line, and started wiping down the windows and mirrors with Windex.
The door bell rings.
I debate even answering, but have the fleeting thought it may be something important, so I make my way to the door.
Oh how I wish I had looked down. Just one glance would have saved me a whole lot of awkwardness and unease.
I answer and it is the damn carpet cleaning guy again. I had thought I was on their ‘Do not go to that crazy bitches house’ list; guess not.
Upon opening the door, he looks at me without saying a word. I stare back at him with a questioning glance.
“Can I help you?” I finally say after some uncomfortable amount of time.
“Um- Uh Miss…” He points towards my chest.
I am utterly taken back and troubled by the gesture…That is until I look down.
In my haste to get the house clean, and my inability to think of much else this morning, I neglected the fact that I had been wearing a dress with an elastic top. A top that would more than easily slip down to reveal the left cup of my bra, which unfortunately is a bit too small and more revealing than not.
So there I am, in my green dress with the elastic top. Left boob hanging out for all to see and a horrified look on the individuals face who stands before me.
Similar to most gruesome instances like this in my life, I freeze.
Again this salesman and I are at an impasse, both standing there unable to remedy this terrible situation.
I am frozen; he, more than likely scared and I’m sure a little confused.
“I’m just going to shut the door now…” I say to the man who was just trying to sell me a steam cleaner and got more than he bargained for.
He simply gives a slight nod of the head and turns away.
I suppose the one good thing that has come out of this;
If I wasn’t on their ‘Do not call list’ before….I sure am now!