Let me paint you a picture; I have been picking rocks…No, boulders, out of a field for the better half of the day. Dad and I have devised a system where he drives around the field in the Bobcat, while I jog in front and when either of us see a rock that will potentially harm his farm equipment once the time comes for farming, I dig it out and throw it into the Skidster’s bucket. My joints are aching, and sweat beads roll gingerly off my forehead and into my eyes.
I have been downing on average two beer per 10 minute break, in an attempt to hydrate myself, which in retrospect was a terrible idea. Water clearly would have been the better choice, especially since I am currently having hallucinations of cool water bottles and flowing taps.
Finally the gruelling task comes to an end…Not so much because all of the rocks are picked, but more so because I’m sure Dad can see my exhaustion, and must think it wise to quit before I keel over into some catatonic state.
With a lot of movement and some time, we get all of the equipment that was being used to pick rocks (this is more than what one would imagine) back up to the yard, and finish with me grabbing the quad. I decide to go for a brisk ride, to try to cool off, and on my adventures I spot the dug-out that Dad had built last year for drainage in one of the far fields.
I think, ‘Oh boy does that fresh cool water ever look inviting!’
You see I am one of those people, who just love water. I will literally swim in anything. And although I have many a fear, water is certainly not one of them.
I make my way towards the muddy pit of liquid, thinking I will just investigate to see if there is a safe way to enter and exit the outlet.
On first inspection it looks as though there is a gentle slope, making its way towards the inviting swimming hole. I am not thinking and blindly, almost as though in some sort of whirling trance, move towards the water.
I sink. I sink bad.
The ground I move upon is deceiving, and it ends up being soft mud. I currently reside in squishy sand and clay up to my waist.
Great one Lindsay, how do you suppose you are going to get out of this one?
A moment of panic creeps in, as I am too far away to yell for help, and the ground is so soft, it seems impossible to walk out of.
I am about half a foot away from the 15 foot pit that is filled with crisp cool winter run-off. So I am faced with the query, do I attempt to get into the water and swim to an easier place to exit, or try to climb my way out.
I turn the upper half of my body towards the water, as my lower half is completely immobile. I place my hand in the water and realize, IT IS FREAKIN COLD! Although I am no stranger to cold water, this place is freezing due to its recent shedding of the thick layer of ice it had accumulated over the winter months.
I figure it will be best to avoid the water right now, I don’t need hypothermia on top of my current situation.
OK so I am going to climb out of this bitch…Here we go.
Left hand grasps a piece of hard clay that sits a foot ahead of me…I am no rock climber so pulling myself out with just the use of my upper body strength proves difficult. There is much swearing involved in the process!
Right hand has nothing to really grasp so I drive it into the wet soil to get a good strong hold, while thrusting my lower half out.
I silently (or maybe not so silently, because I know I am alone) thank god no one is around to witness this fiasco, because I am sure I look like a some sort of demented fish out of water, wriggling its way out of this precarious bind.
Finally I make my way to solid ground…after a good 10 minutes of trial and error and the utmost working of upper body muscles.
As I get on the quad I realize the state of myself, and head to the river to wash off. Yes we have a river and yes, if I wanted to go for a swim that would have clearly been the safer choice…I’m sure the sun had gotten to me and I wasn’t thinking clearly. Obviously it couldn’t have been the 6 beer I had drank prior….
Morals to this outlandish story;
1. Do not enter strange pits of water, unaccompanied and oblivious to your surroundings
2. Dug outs, may or may not be the best area in which to cool off after a long days work
3. Think before you jump into unknown places
4. Keep your mothers words of wisdom close in mind when thinking of doing stupid things
5. If you forget those words of wisdom, at the very least make sure you have a buddy close to pull you out of your idiotic venture