My wonderful friend Janelle, whom I have mentioned several times before in these rants, is having a baby. Oh how I have waited for this glorious day! From the first time I peed on that stick from the drugstore and found out, I myself was creating a little fetus, I yearned for my bestie to have one of her own.
But as luck would have it, Janelle is a planner. She plans from the time she wakes up in the morning to the time she goes to bed at night….It would not surprise me, if she subconsciously planned her next day through her slumberous dreams. So unfortunate for me (although, great for the kid) she would also plan when the most opportune time to create life was as well. Now, after four years of patiently waiting on my part….The time has come! To make my excitement even greater she is having a baby girl.
Janelle has always been the logical one out of the two of us. Always setting realistic goals and obtainable objectives, while I have constantly set my sights on grandeur and opulence. Needless to say, my best friend has grounded me for a wide portion of our lives. I think that this same succession will continue through-out as well as long after our kids grow into adults. These are my thoughts on how mine and Janelle’s daughters will live out their beautiful life;
Her princess and my princess are going to be best princess friends together. Since Janelle and her husband Frankie haven’t found a name for their princess yet, for the sake of this post, I shall call her ‘Frannie’. My reasoning for this is simple, I call Janelle; Nelly…and then Frankie’s name combined with that…well, it’s not perfect but we’re going to run with it.
Anyways, Sophie and Frannie will reign supreme in a world made of lollipops and rainbows…And they will ride unicorns and Pegusii wherever their little heart’s desire…And they will make snow angles out of marshmallow puffs and swim in lakes of Jell-O, and their imaginations will dash wildly while being the happiest little Sophie and Frannie ever…In their kingdom of lollipops and rainbows!
Once they are too old for Jell-O swim, Sophie and Frannie will be a prime example of what a teenager should be. Never getting into trouble, never even thinking about it. They will always be our perfect little princesses and certainly will not travel down the dangerous and unnerving path of rebellion. They won’t become snide teenage girls, and their father’s won’t have to sit out on the front stoop waiting with shotguns for unwanted visitors of the male variety. They will always listen with a dazzling attention to their mothers and come to us whenever adversity clouts their life. Never will they say they hate us when we tell them no, because we will never have to tell our Sophie and Frannie no. They will instinctively do what we think is best.
Oh what a magnificent life we will have with our perfect little Sophie and Frannie.
As superb as this all sounds, my thoughts are shattered once I reflect on how ‘wonderful’ of teenagers Janelle and I once were. I am suddenly overwhelmed with anxiety. We were terrible teens! And if these little princesses take after us even a tad….We are in huge trouble. The trickery, the fraud and deceit we put upon our parents, I am not entirely sure I can endure that kind of agony. And yet, without a doubt it is indefinably coming for us. Maybe this is what Karma is? You were a terror disguised under dark make-up and bell-bottom jeans? Thus be it, your daughter will too (replace bell-bottom with skinny jeans).
The thought of having to deal with strange boys, sneaking out, and everything else that comes with adolescent females has began to send me over the edge. Will I be able to hack it? Will I be able to be as cunning and suave as my mom was? No. I will be a wreak 100 percent of the time. You all see how I react to toddler stress…Imagine the posts I would have to write to vent my frustrations after walking in on my 16 year old daughter in ‘make-out’ session with a dude named Sting! I don’t even want to get started on how Jamie will react to our daughters indiscretions either.
So now I am sitting here with a half written post on how excited I am to have my best friend carrying my daughters future best friend, and as I reread I have totally strayed away from the subject matter. Here I go again thinking too big and quite frankly being rather self involved (nothing new, Janelle’s come to deal with this annoying habit of mine…But like really, she probably finds it endearing). Once again my best friend, grounds me. I can just imagine what she would say to me if she to was here in front of this computer screen;
‘Oh calm down Linds! Our parents got through it; albeit with a little more grays and maybe an ulcer or two. If they can do it, so can we. There is no use freaking out over this, we are going to have a lot of fun years of kids and family activities before we have to worry about teens.’ It is a sad sad day when you are imagining your pregnant hormonal friend calming you down, because you (who already has two kids) are stressed about parenting.
When the day does come (because I am not that delusional to think that it won’t) that Sophie does take a dip into the inner circle of the terrible teens, I can take comfort in that fact that Frannie won’t be far behind. Once again I will sit, worry and stress thinking of the worst possible scenarios, while Janelle will take action in the most probable way, and calm me…whether that probable way is a bottle or ten of wine, only time will tell.
In conclusion, what this erratic and unorganized post is trying to say is that I am just so damn happy that I get to share the adventures of parenting with my greater than awesome friend.
From me making fun of the copious amounts of fruit in your lunch, to leaf pile jumping at the farm, then together entering into those ‘terrible teens’ we have grew through it collectively. The one thing I can truly hope for Janelle, is that our children will find friendships in life that are as absolute and gratifying as ours has turned out to be. What a scary, brilliant, and moving thing to be able to have as many memories together as us, and know that now we are moving onto the next chapter of life and friendship…And sorry in advance for calling your baby ‘Frannie’ for this entire post.