Rest your infant filled arms and toy stabbed feet dear reader- you are among friends now!
Put down the laundry basket that is currently overflowing and leaving a trail of skid marked undies down your hallway. Forget for a few seconds about the wretched smelling diaper that sits stewing remorsefully in your kitchen garbage can. Remove the To-Do list from your mind if only for a moment. Step in. Stay awhile.
Let’s establish one thing right off the hop- we are not perfect here at The Blogging Mama so take off your shit-doesn’t-stink hat. We will have none of that nonsense around these parts. Parents make mistakes and sometimes kids can get the best of you. We here at The Mama acknowledge there is no such thing as Supermom or Batdad (and please don’t be intimidated by my clever word play).
Parenting can quickly fall into pandemonium without a moments notice. And if we don’t have each others backs who does? Surely not the kids- they will rise up, and before we know it we will be living in a kid run society with adults as the working slaves, mining for candy, and they will be hyper little devil children from the constant sugar intake and OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD- THE DENTIST BILLS…Did I mention that sometimes I go overboard?
In any case, The Blogging Mama stands for embracing acceptance when it comes to the parental condition. Because let’s face it- we need each other.
Before I began blogging I sometimes felt alone. Not the kind of alone where you go searching for actual human beings to fill up the space around you. The kind of alone where you physically have all types of people jabbering at you but somehow you feel as though you could possibly be the most secluded person on the planet. Sometimes one isn’t the loneliest number. I felt misunderstood. I wondered endlessly if other parents felt the same ups and downs of parenting as I did. I pondered if the horrific scenes of poop filled rooms I would happen upon in the potty training days materialized in other homes too. Or did I just suck at the whole toilet preparation thing?
I quietly obsessed on how the other mothers acted- they seemed so superior to me. You know the kind; they loved being pregnant- so much that they kept a running journal of all the amazeballs feelings and stuff that occurred during those glorious nine months. And then instead of excruciating pain during labor they somehow managed to have an orgasm. Lucky bitches. They were the ones who read every child rearing article that Google has to offer and lived by those words unswervingly. No TV until after they reach the age of two- then half an hour of monitored viewing…And here my kids are watching Bob’s Burgers while I write this. Anyways, you get the point.
It had to be a farce. There had to be my kind of likeminded parents out there. The kind who were real and could appreciate the real life stories and misadventures of parenthood.
So I decided to begin writing. Now after two years- some great opportunities arising from the blog and the realization that parenting doesn’t have to be a lonely place- I want to share this platform with you too.
Along with the hundreds of “Mommy Mayhem” stories of mine here on The Blogging Mama I encourage anyone who would be interested, to submit me their own fab and fun-tastic tale. For more info click here.
So go on friends, hide in the bathroom for a few extra minutes with the tablet. Tell your spouse that it’s YOUR turn to read The Mama while they dish dinner up for the kids. Put the babes to bed a few minutes early tonight, they’ll never know the difference.
Obtain your escape route (because I can’t do everything around here people) pour yourself a nice stiff drink, snuggle in to your secluded sanctuary and get ready for some great reading.
Here are a few to start you off…
NOT THE BEDSIDE DRAWER- A story about kids nosing around in areas they shouldn’t be.
Killer Crows and Diarrhea- yep…Just yep.
I have a drinking problem- For all of the wine lovers out there.
The Thing About Feminism- Because my children will understand the proper meaning of this word.
Picture Day; why you do this to me? We’ve all been there am I right?!
And finally for some comic relief…